CATSITTING

last night
I threw up five times
after eating
suspicious looking ham
from a stranger’s fridge

granted
I am catsitting

that fucking cat
had no idea
what was going on

when she saw the contents
of my stomach

fill the nice couple’s
big blue bucket

in their lovely
Brunswick home

I binge watched
Peep Show
to distract me from
the pain that would not
stop
creeping up
and heaving out

it did not work

there is no metaphor
this time
even though I can totally
explain the lesson
involved in this ordeal

and it has nothing to do
with not eating dodgy ham
from a stranger’s fucking fridge

we all know that
is very likely to happen again

I won’t explain how
I could relate this
horror of a night
to my goddamn fucking life

instead I’ll leave you
with a poem
about vomit.

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